Arthritis and Me: Part I

As I alluded to in a previous post I have been having therapy for some of the major issues that have cropped up in my life this year: relationship problems, destabilised mood, and biggest and ugliest of all the continuous experience of being dreadfully unwell with my new pal Arthritis.  In the future, I intend to share these therapy sessions with you but for now there’s something else we need to attend to.

I’ve not really made it clear in previous posts quite how unwell I’ve been, so now might be the time to paint you the perfect (or completely imperfect) picture of what life has been like for me this year. Putting the rapid cycling of my mood aside, let’s focus solely on the physical health problems I’ve had and their effect on my overall functioning.

In 2011 I occasionally experienced periods of intense fatigue, muscular pain and joint pain in parts of my spine. At the time I wasn’t aware it was joint pain, but I described it as “bone pain”. Anyway, these periods lasted for a week or so at a time, involved intense fatigue, lack of concentration and seemed like what I would call a physical depression – I felt like I was depressed, except my mood was perfectly normal. Given the fact I have bipolar disorder, I sort of assumed that this was what was going on, maybe these events were precursors or early warning signs of depression so I slept like a rock for those weeks, tried to keep up my activities and eventually the symptoms would disappear. But as the year went on these unusual periods of fatigue increased, and my ability to do exercise (particularly resistance training) with my upper body was impacted. I couldn’t lift weights (which I love to do by the way) because not only would I get weird nerve pain, but the muscles in my back would seize and I would be in intense pain and discomfort for quite some time. I didn’t know what was causing this, but eventually I blamed it on an incident I had while riding my horse. It turns out, that was just a total misattribution.

To cut to the point, after I finished the academic year of 2011, I felt okay, but my health was deteriorating. Sometimes I would be unable to do a three hour walk without becoming a member of the Walking Dead for a week or so after. But at other times a three hour walk was fine and there were no after effects. At Christmas time I moved back to my home town and although I felt fine psychologically, things continued to deteriorate.

At first, I noticed I had pain in my hands. I only noticed this because I was helping to paint my parents’ house.  Quickly I realised I couldn’t paint for more than a few minutes at a time as my hand would seize up. This pain eventually was accompanied by pain in my wrists, and a feeling like they were “on fire”. I saw my GP. My GP said there was no “objective evidence” that there was something wrong.

So I went on my merry way and tried to continue on as per usual. But things got worse. I was having fevers, stiffness, joint pain and overwhelming fatigue. My mother suggested my mood was responsible. My father suggested that I was hypersensitive to physical sensations or that I had an “ongoing flu”. (Yes he seriously suggested I had a cyclical flu that went on for months. Of all the suggestions, that was perhaps the most infuriating.) The Olympian aka my boyfriend, in case you didn’t know, jokingly/possibly quite seriously called me a hypochondriac.

I continued to battle. I said to myself, “if my fatigue is caused by my low mood then I need to keep up the activity despite it”. But it was a horrible. I tried getting up at 7am or 7.30am (which used to be fine) and I would be so tired all day that I barely managed to get through any work.

Eventually, I saw my psychiatrist. I saw her on a bad day, when I felt so fatigued I thought I might collapse in front of her and start speaking my final dying words. She took one look and me and said that there was obviously something wrong. She suggested I see an internal physician privately.

At this point, I was trying and failing to keep up my academic work as well as my two part-time jobs (both with low hours), care for a horse, do chores and live a normal life. It was a real-life nightmare with no end in sight. Everything was a struggle. Getting up in the morning, putting on clothes, washing, doing my hair, thinking, feeling, talking. For weeks at a time I would do nothing, incapacitated by the fatigue and feeling as though I was “getting sick”. It was sort of like just before you come down with a cold or flu, except it would last for weeks, vanish without the appearance of any cold or flu symptoms and then would return again. This is probably the basis of my fathers “recurring viral infection” theory.

This is an example of what a nuclear bone scan looks like. This is not my skeleton.

After a few weeks I saw the private  internal physician. He was kind, and he took a good look at me and showed concern. Something my GP had failed to do. He ordered a nuclear bone scan. If you haven’t had one, it goes like this. They inject you with radioactive material. This radioactive material is taken up by 1) your bladder because you pee it out and 2) parts of your body that are inflamed (or cancerous). This bone scan revealed a lot of inflammation throughout my axial skeleton. Basically, my sacroiliac joint, my lumbar spine, my throaic spine, where my ribs connect to the front of my chest, and my clavical. Five hundred dollars later, I had a diagnosis. Its name: Spondyloarthropathy, an auto-immune disease in the form of an inflammatory arthritis which characteristically affects the spine and can also affect joints of the arms and legs.

My father was shocked there was something wrong with me. He claims he believed me, but the sound he made (a loud gasp and “really?”) when I told him the results suggested to me that he actually thought that nothing would show up. I was shocked, because everyone had made out like there was nothing wrong with me and I’d started to believe it. The Olympian, well, he was shocked too. Because let’s face it, everybody thought I was making a huge fuss out of nothing. In actual fact, I had a significant level of inflammation in my body that required much more fuss than the pitiful one I had been making.

Coming soon: Arthritis Part II


6 thoughts on “Arthritis and Me: Part I

  1. My grandmother had the same condition as you, and I know from her experience that it is very painful. I’m really glad to hear that you were able to find someone who took you seriously enough to find out what was going on. I really hope that you’re feeling better soon.

  2. Pingback: Arthritis and Me: Part I | The Bipolar Project | Bipolar & Me

  3. Hi Younglady

    Wow do I feel for you. I have had psoriatic arthritis since 1991 and in 2000 it put me out of the work force. I was a panelbeater but I learnt SEO and have several websites where I am an affiliate. I have had remarkable success with diet and supplements. I only ever took one drug and that was methotrexate for seven months. I would never have taken it if I had known the side effects but the specialist in New Zealand who prescribed it to me said it had no side effects. You might like to have a look @ I’ve just updated the page so you may need to refresh it.

    I found you on Twitter @ProjectBip0lar where I’m beginning to promote another site so I’ll RT you and follow.

    • Hi Mike,

      Thanks for your message. I am sorry that the specialist in NZ said that drug has no side effects. I am pleased to say that my doctors have offered it to me, but said only on the condition that I am aware of the nasty side effects etc. I will be sure to check out your sites as I am very interested in finding more about diet and supplements that may help me deal with this. Because it’s not been pleasant! Thanks again and speak soon 🙂

  4. Pingback: How Sleeping Well Can Improve Health And Everyday Life | New NLP Technology

  5. Hi there! I feel like I am on the wrong page or something, because the last time I read your arthritis entry, I was sure there were a lot more comments to follow. I’m lousy with this end of computer world, not so blog/computer savvy, so I’ll just forge ahead. You have all my sympathy regarding your terrible arthritis diagnosis, it sounds awful, painful, and I hope there will be the most helpful meds, therapies, etc., happening out there to help you deal with it in the best way possible. I don’t really know much about arthritis other than it is so painful, especially depending on what kind you have.

    I have my share of basic osteoarthritis (OA) which comes back to haunt me from events I thought were over and done with long ago. Funny how doctors either don’t, or don’t have time, to tell patients the “full story” of what may haunt them in the future from something that seems so cured in the present. One example only, was that I had a highway speed head-on wreck back in ’03. Not only was I lucky to survive (hello airbag!) but I miraculously came out with hardly a scratch. Just bruising really, it almost looked humorous as I bruised right in line with my seatbelt, and my tight grip on the wheel. Anyway, it took years for the OA to kick-in from that one thing. Not my worst problem, but my intermittent pain in my neck, knee, etc., were actually a surprise years after the fact. C’est la vie — it pales in comparison to what you are talking about.

    When I first read your blog regarding your new Dx back in September, it reminded me of a conversation I had with my pdoc years ago. I remember telling him that my hands/thoughts/life were plenty burdened just managing BPI, and I don’t even have the most “tragic” case of it compared to people I meet. I said to him, If I live to be a little old lady, I don’t know how in the world I’d deal with all the ailments that usually come with old age, or any Surprise! New Diseases. Really, my hands are full enough with illness as it is. Well, at age 51, it seems I didn’t have to wait for old age to have the very experience I feared.

    I find myself plagued with a whole host of new diseases and ailments, all of which seem to have struck just within the past few years. It’s kind of ridicullous how much time I have to spend either researching, coping with, testing/Dx jazz, or seeing new doctors for things such as: thyroid disease, kidney disease, neuropathy that will probably turn into diabetes II, well heck, I already have diabetes insipidus from the lithium, need a new mood stabilizer, I’m clumsy enough to break an ankle even tho I travel by foot, RLS, some new vascular weirness has my leg hair falling out (PAD in the making?), chronic tension headaches, oh, I don’t know, I’m know that’s not a complete list, but I’m sure you get the idea. It feels like a zillion visits to various specialists, ongoing testing and biopsies that go nowhere and aren’t even conclusive. It’s been truly overwhelming , especially because I have no car, so I trucking around on foot and by some inadequate bus system…it’s just a lot to manage. (Oh, let’s not forget the sleep apnea and the CPAP machine from hell.,

    Anyway, I know that “mental patients” often get more diseases than the average bear. IWhile sometimes a side-effect from meds, it goes beyond that. It’s a weird statistical thing — not sure why it happens — but I know I’m not the only one, I have friends in the same boat. “Gee Dave, Are you going back for another ultrasound this week or is it just more labs? ” I have a friend who just blows it all off like to passive form of suicide — he can’t keep up with it all. Not sure if I can keep my energy going for much more testing. Wasn’t the original major affective disorder enough of a curse, God? Why plague the weary. I hear mental patients, on the average, have a shorter life expectancy than the average bear, but I don’t know why.

    Well, at the moment, this very moment, I feel just great, so please don’t think I’m in a puddle of tears or something like that. I’m too old to cry, or too amused by the ironies of life, or something. I like to remain as cheerful as humanly possible. Sorry if this post is just one big typo-mess–my video card is frying out, as it sometimes does , so I can’t see well enough to correct my errors.

    Hope you are as well as you can be Lulu. I hope to get a new eBlog/mail soon with an update on you, and how your doing! Take care. everyone!!!

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